
SWEET TRANSYLVANIAN
TRAVERSE
By Rick Coleman
"Kiss the hand you can not bite" , an old
Romanian proverb of Turkish origin, is a useful phrase to
remember, when negotiating the huge queues at the
Hungarian side of the Romanian border. Sometimes, several
kilometres back from the actual line, trucks and cars
form massive queues. Taking a leaf from the London
courier rule book, we skirted down the outside, at the
first small wave on, from the transcontinental truckies.
Having been told of speeding infringements being paid
for with a packet of Marlboros and a can of coke, we
approached the guards fully stocked. Producing a New
Zealand passport was all it took. That, and a current
'green card' extension, of our motor insurance.. Some
rather dodgy looking 'tax collectors' were reluctant to
give receipts, as I remember.

It only took us a couple of hours to be humming along
Romania's quiet rural roads, past fields of hay and
poppies. Clouds, at times looking thunderous and menacing
hovered around the hills to the east, so with no
particular place to go, we deviated north and skirted
around the city Arad, in the wine growing region of
Crisana and Banat.
40 kilometres north we swung east again, towards the
small village of Ineu, with a petrol crisis looming. We
rather stupidly hadn't filled up in Hungary. We were now
forced to find a gas station, on our first day in a new
country. Always a nerve racking experience with a new
language, currency, and pump etiquette.
The two open air petrol pumps were located near the
town square, and were unattended, which fitted, because
they didn't look capable of pumping anything anyway. But
we had no choice, we had just gone onto reserve, so we
put the BM up on the centre stand and settled in for the
wait. We figured we were on the right track when a couple
more vehicles joined the queue behind us.
Two hours later, we met our first English speaking
Romanian. A young guy in his mid twenties said there
hadn't been petrol at the station for three days, and
cars were queuing up behind us, thinking we had some
insider information. Alas, Peter thought maybe tomorrow 4
o'clock. So our new friend directed us to Ineu's
flashiest hotel, and invited us to a BBQ at his mates
place, Mike.

Mike had a striking resemblance to a well known MTV
presenter, and sported stars and stripes boxer shorts, he
was the spitting image of Ray Cokes, and had a taste for
beer and 'palenca' (potent cherry distillate). His
hospitality was enormous, and he led us down to the river
behind his apartment block, for an open fire and a few
drinks. Mike showed me how to select a good wet and sappy
stick for the BBQ. We peeled off the bark and fashioned a
sharp point on which we speared a fist sized chunk of
pork fat. Roasting it in the naked flame, it started
dripping hot fat, which was dabbed onto long white
loaves. Eventually the lump was reduced to a charred,
crispy piece of crackling, and was sliced onto the fat
soaked bread with fresh spring onions to make a tasty
sandwich. BBQ, Romanian style.
Our young hosts entertained us for the three days it
took for the petrol to arrive. We drank sulphur tasting,
health giving water from the local well, explored the
belfry of the towns old Roman Orthodox church, and had
piano recitals at their family home. They took us to the
rundown local cinema to watch ultra violent, ultra cheap,
subtitled American shoot-em-up movies, and in the
evenings we toured the bars and clubs. The morning the
petrol turned up, Mike rushed around to tip us off and so
we were lucky to get in the growing queue early. Our
introduction to Romanian generosity and hospitality was
moving and unexpected.

After a breakfast of neon coloured fruit loops, washed
down with coke, we left Ineu, and headed south east
through a hilly rural landscape. The sky darkened,
lightning flashed, and thunder boomed. Lightning struck a
hill, and we sought sanctuary in an open sided, stone
floored hay barn. We were soon joined by three cow
herders and their nervous stock. Another terrifying bolt
of lightning, this time striking not a hundred metres
from the iron roofed shed, felt terribly foreboding as we
neared the Transylvanian, mythical home of Count Dracula.
At the risk of inciting the wrath of the Transylvanian
Dracula Society, Count Dracula is a creation of Bram
Stoker's 1897 novel, and has no real life, or living dead
equivalent. The character however is loosely associated
with another delightful chap, Vlad Tepes (Vlad the
Impaler, to his mates) who passed through these mountains
between bloodthirsty encounters with the invading Turks.
He punished his enemies by carefully driving a stake
through a victims backbone, avoiding vital nerves and
organs, to ensure at least 48 hours of conscious pain
before death. Apparently he rarely ate, without a Turk
writhing on a stake in front of him.
Today, these two characters, along with a 3 century
Hungarian countess, famous for murdering 600 young girl
and bathing in their blood to retain her youthfulness,
have created a myth that attracts tourists by the droves.
Being leather clad bikers, it seemed appropriate to join
them in the celebration of the macabre. The crumbling and
mysterious Bram castle (commonly referred to as Dracula's
castle), is in danger of collapsing due to cracks in its
foundations, taking its fairytale turrets and
Mediterranean white washed walls with it. Free tours were
available in four different languages.

After stopping for lunch at Romania's premier ski
resort of Poiana Brasov, we entered the spectacular
Prahova Valley east of the Bucegi Mountains on the E60
highway. Just before the ski resort of Sinaia, we
attempted to find a free camping site, out of sight, on
the side of the road. Not an easy task as most roads
zig-zag straight up the valley walls into the fir clad
mountains, with very little flat ground. A small side
track, with long grass in the wheel ruts, was just the
break we needed, and promptly set up our small tent next
to the bike on the outside of the bend, overlooking the
gothic Peles Castle. We broke out the mobile kitchen and
prepared tinned tuna and tomato pasta sauce, our firm
favourite at the time. Not wanting to attract undue
attention we didn't light a fire, and retired early in
the black night. For security, the tent was situated
almost under the bike, and I set noisy booby traps of
empty bottles round the encampment and stashed the
rubbish bag under the bike. I slept with the heavy bike
chain beside me, and listened intently to the strange
sounds of an unknown forest.
I awoke bolt upright to the sound of a deep and
guttural growl, just inches from my head. Snatching the
heavy chain I fumbled with the zip door of the tent and
stuck my head outside. Screaming and pounding the chain
on the ground, I could just make out the dark shape of a
bear, loping down the track. It stopped and turned it's
head to survey it's opponent. I yelled and thumped the
chain down hard again and again. With a huff, it turned
and strolled down the track into the darkness. Fear not
the vampires in Transylvania, but the tuna loving bears !
Riding down the stunning forested valley we descended
to the fertile agricultural plains of Wallachia. Having
escaped most of the heavy industries, by travelling pot
holed back country roads instead, the first sight of
Ploiesti was a shocking one. Industrialised with
frighteningly bad pollution, Ploiesti has been Romania's
oil refining centre since 1857 and ranked sixth in the
world in the production of oil between the two world
wars.
Further south still, we braved the busy streets of the
Romanian capital of Bucharest with a population of over
two million. Taking a break out side the world's second
largest building (after the Pentagon, Washington DC),
Nicolae Ceausescu's, House of the People, we made
a decision to break for the border.
Having experienced a green and luscious land with
spectacular mountain scenery, warm, hospitable people, as
well as exciting wildlife, we wished to avoid the
spoiling of such images and made directly for the mighty
Danube river, which represents the southern Romanian
border with Bulgaria. Preparing once again to 'kiss the
hand we could not bite'.
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